Nelson Mandela talks on the meaning of Ubuntu.
Many people, companies and government agencies talk about Ubuntu. Not as many as speak, actually practice it.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Nelson Madela and Ubuntu
Monday, February 27, 2012
Feedback from a recent successful team conflict resolution program
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Celebrating Humanity Team conflict resolution programs remove conflict from teams, through celebration, agreements, clearing and individual accountability.
Here is some feedback from a recent client:-
From a Sales Managers point of view on the training program Celebrating Humanity I found that as a head of department in the Sales division it was certainly beneficial to my whole team.
I have noticed that their attitude towards one another and to their work has improved remarkably. There is a sense of urgency, motivation and commitment to evaluate a situation before making a decision on certain aspects of their job functions.
The Teambuilding: This was interesting and informative and gave me a different view on my staff I thought that I knew them all regarding their habits and what they did in their everyday activities both at work and on the home front “was I surprised” each individual had similar concerns which was not too much of a issue but had not been voiced in as much detail .This is where the trust and transparency filtered through even more that ever.
I am perceived as an honest and trustworthy member in my department and this was nice to know that we collectively were brought closer together in sharing our views as a Team rather than individuals.
Methodologies: The methodologies that were applied in achieving the interaction between on another were how I shall say “INTERESTING”. It reminds me of the old saying Back To Basics how true this is, a simple good morning how are you, and how your weekend was is a great opener in any conversation followed with a Smile.
For one to have the courage and trust in revealing ones personal problems, concerns, and even thoughts on a particular issue is normally a tedious extracting process, not the case when face to face as the exercise revealed where we say opposite one another and reveled our thought and concerns one felt almost obliged to spill all.
The perception that I had of some of the staff “in other departments “was misconstrued. I found them to be transparent and almost enthusiastic to tell me everything they possibly could in the short space of time that we had.
Ability to work with different cultures: This is an area that needs lots of work; it’s too easy to assume that people must answer you back in your home language. I need to take the time to learn the ways and cultures of those we interact with on a day to day basis.Just the basics will be a huge stepping stone forward, too often one feels not so much as embarrassed but more “not informed “well enough to attempt a simple SAWUBONA as an example to someone that we see on a day to day basis .We slip into our comfort zone and use our own native language.
The body language I found interesting and different in each culture that I encountered as well.
Conclusion: Anyone that is willing to change for the better, the company and in the way they approach life in general will be pleasantly surprised of the outcome of this program. It has given me a different prospective on my staff and a better understanding of how they feel.
The “buy in” from all has been fantastic and in particular an approach on how to “fix “issues is a joint venture between ourselves as “A Team”. The interaction with other department is much more “transparent”. A huge stepping stone in the right direction.
From: Dave Finch Date: 3rd February 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Video - Fun ways to resolve team conflict
Another team conflict resolution program by Celebrating Humanity
Friday, September 23, 2011
How knowing your audience can create more sales and opportunities
Brian Moore talks to David Greenberg on how he has built business and relationships, internationally.
Find out how understanding diversity can make YOU more money! http://ping.fm/PF9sN
Find out how understanding diversity can make YOU more money! http://ping.fm/PF9sN
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Talk straight, talk clearly and talk with respect.
As the lift descended the two Zulu ladies made their observations of my well-rounded figure..."Hawu! We sisi! Uwubonile umkhaba? (Gee Sister have you noticed the stomach.)
"Yebo, ngiwubonile. Yinkinsela yempela - sengathi inemali eningi!" (Yes, I have noticed it. Clearly a wealthy person - I'd imagine he has plenty of money)
All this gossip happened in front of me, as they innocently watched the floor indicator panel. I bided my time and as the two ladies prepared to leave the lift, I spoke to them in Zulu. "Sobuye sibonane bomama." (I will see you ladies around some time.)
"Hawu! Hawu!" They squealed in shock. "We didn’t know that you could speak Zulu!"
The event reminded me of similar events where people use their "superior" use of language to make negative observations of people.
Many years ago I used the services of a UK born dentist. I had an afternoon session with him. I had earlier washed my mouth out at a supermarket rest-room after eating a sandwich for lunch. It was not enough. He peered into my mouth and pronounced to his assistant, "It is a foggy day in Liverpool."In his English way he had said that I had not brushed my teeth. I was very embarrassed and he lost me as a client and a number of others who I spoke to about the event.
In a recent training course my beautiful Hindu wife and I were subjected to abuse from a small group of England born delegates. In loud and profane tones they proceeded to malign the "Indians" and their "ability to speak the truth". This in the round about and sarcastic manner of certain English people. Very little is said directly.
We are however well travelled and understood perfectly. As facilitators we have to be fair, pleasant and respectful to all of our delegates. Any mention of their meanness would reduce the programme to a series of personal attacks. It took us both a lot of internal and interpersonal talk to get close to our normal warm level of communication.
At an earlier course three of the many Afrikaners, on a Celebrating Humanity© course, walked into the conference venue and made similar attacks on Arthie and the programme itself. This time it was in Afrikaans. They too never believed that we could understand and speak their language. Their embarrassment was very visible as the programme unfolded with both of us speaking English, Zulu and Afrikaans.
Numerous African people from our many language groups speak of the way certain English speaking South Africans "Shaya ‘ma angles." (To speak indirectly and in a round about way.) It is an old English habit to lighten the criticism and talk around a challenge, so as not to hurt feelings. Often the hurt is greater because no-one besides the speaker understands the true message until much later.
Some people find it necessary to joke in sexual manner. Their jokes are often below the belt and cause great embarrassment to their colleagues and friends who do not discuss these matters outside of their bedrooms. Most African and Eastern groups do not appreciate such jokes. Others try to get their laughs by bringing down "groups" of people. By race, by colour, by language, by religion and even by hair colour.
The message here is all about respect.
When we isolate ourselves into our common groups and use our cleverness to "secretly" or "publicly" attack others, we damage our ability to develop good working relationships. When we try not "to hurt others feelings", we often cause more pain than we would have by straight talk and without rancour. When we use our own "language" to communicate our jealousy or meanness towards those who communicate in other languages, we often isolate ourselves. When we joke in a manner that is sexual or which brings down other people, we bring ourselves, the listeners and our country down.
We live in a wonderful multi-lingual, multi-cultural and multi-spiritual land. All of our people have a right to respect and dignity. All of us have a duty to be respectful and dignified. One huge step of our journey, to a united land, will take place when begin to tell funny jokes that do not demean, or disrespect other people. And another gigantic step will take place when we talk straight, talk clearly and talk with respect.
Brian V Moore©
Celebrating Humanity International
trainers@africa-dreams.com
24 April 2004
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Team Conflict Resolution Options
The well-known Celebrating Humanity Team Conflict Resolution program has been designed to accommodate teams that are pressed for time and large organisations.
The Harvest program, with an initial 2.5 to 3 days session, gives participants extra time to develop leadership, solutions to challenges and advanced communications skills.
The Mini Harvest program, with an initial 1.5 to 2 day session, is tightly adjusted to build the team in as short a time possible.
Both programs have the Values Circle Process to clear the past, get commitment and a peer-developed code of conduct - to guide the team into the future.
The follow-up processes and programs ensure long lasting and powerfully inclusive change.Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Check out our new blog on "How we Teach and Learn..."
Learning Styles, Communication Styles and RelationshipsHow your learning style affects your relationships and how you can get better results, yourself and with others.
Now that we know that we have a unique learning style, it is important to note that - as a result of that style - we also have unique ways of interacting, communicating, listening and behaving.
This impacts our relationships and our ability to build relationships with others. This impacts teams. companies and individuals.
How we Teach and Learn by Arthie and Brian V Moore
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Celebrating Humanity - Team Conflict Resolution©
Celebrating Humanity - Team Conflict Resolution©
24 May 2011 - Brian V Moore
Celebrating Humanity International has over 20 years experience in diversity training, team building and team conflict resolution.
“Put people together in a way that will have them bouncing ideas off each other, befriending each other, and taking care of each other, and suddenly they are coming to you, not with gripes and problems, but with solutions and great ideas.”
- Richard Branson, in his book, Business Stripped Bare
The focus of this enjoyable, inclusive, participative, non-threatening and effective team unity building© programme is to develop professionalism, trust, motivation, understanding, communication, relationships, unity, accountability and respect within your client’s team.
From challenges - to unified and professional teams
The programme is a combination of diversity management, team building, leadership development, relationship building, communication skills development - ending with a solid long-term team agreement which guides the team to work together into the future. After the intervention all team members start afresh - with a clean slate - clear of all past challenges.
This is not a talk, a negotiation – or a traditional team building - this fun and exciting programme is an interactive, transformational and sustainable experience with wonderful lessons learnt and skills developed!
The Celebrating Humanity Mini Harvest© programme has 3 separate stages, with support and follow-up, to ensure long term success.
Team Conflict Resolution Process
Stage 1 - Initial 2 day programme.
EYE Opener Day 1
Designed to Celebrate the Humanity within your team and develop skills in an Exhilarating Learning© environment and thereby:
Create an environment of respect in the team.
Develop an understanding of communication styles and personalities and how to communicate with respect and effectiveness.
Develop an understanding of team members.
Develop interpersonal communication and respect
Create an environment of communication, solution-finding and praise.
Develop understanding of attitudes and their effect on relationships
Bring the team closer together as colleagues.
Values Circle - Day 2
Develops understanding of how the team should and should not behave and puts the team in charge of its own actions and behaviours.
1.The team creates and commits to a formalised peer-managed Code of Conduct, thereafter all team members clear past interpersonal challenges and commit to the team, and to manage their own actions.
The code of conduct ensures that all team members are committed to work together in a respectful way and commits the team to very brief monthly meetings to:
a.Praise and Honour those who deserve it.
b.Develop understanding
c.Give guidance to values breakers
d.Offer support to those with challenges and send those who will not be guided by the team and who break the agreed rules, for the normal company discipline processes.
Monthly meetings and follow-up +- 1 month after the initial programme.
Sets up the team to maintain the programme, through 1 hour 6 weekly meetings. The first meeting, 2 - 4 hours, is facilitated by a CHI lead facilitator, on site.
The team will receive:-
1.A fully explanatory copy of the Code of Conduct.
2.A copy of their signed commitment to the team.
3.An agenda for the management of the ongoing monthly meetings.
4.Photographs on CD or DVD.
5.Free access to telephonic or e-mail support.
Exhilarating Learning Methodologies
Exhilarating Learning© is non-threatening, effective, fun, lasting and unifying.
Exhilarating Learning© activates all of the human learning senses through group & team-focussed processes and exercises.
Learning is ensured through Inclusivity and the use of Intellectual, Visual, Audio & Kinesthetic sensors.
Inclusivity and Teamwork is ensured through Team reliance on each individuals’ Unique Talents, Skills and Knowledge.
Knowledge and Understanding is developed though the Inclusivity processes.
Teamwork is developed through Group Achievement and the need for Total Participation of all delegates.
Mutual Respect is ensured through the Competition Points System.
Communication Awareness and Skills are developed practically.
Open Minds and Total Participation are ensured through the unique environment and processes.
Long-term Understanding is developed through introspection and the questioning environment.
Tools include the use of various languages, story-telling, music, video & competition.
Testimonials
"On behalf of Team US, from the U.S. Consulate General in Durban, I write to extend our appreciation for and unparalleled experience in cultural sensitisation and team-building!
The 2 day session made our diverse team stronger and more supportive of one another. This (team building) was by far the most meaningful and effective in fostering good communication, mutual respect and a strong spirit of co operation amongst our multi-cultural staff. "
Jill Derderian - United States Consul General - Durban
"There were times when attitudes were so hard and fast that I thought it would be an impossible task to create teams within groups of people that we were working with but Brian and Arthie with incredible insight and genuine humanity were able to find the chink in the armour and break down barriers that had been built and protected for decades.
From those tenuous and fragile beginnings, many teams soared to great heights achieving outstanding results. I am forever indebted to their excellent work.”
- Sue Hall & Associates
Celebrating Humanity International
Diversity Management, Team Building and Team Conflict Resolution Specialists
079 643 4457/ 072 439 4220/ brian@africa-dreams.com
http://www.africa-dreams.com
http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
http://transformdiverseteams.blogspot.com
24 May 2011 - Brian V Moore
Celebrating Humanity International has over 20 years experience in diversity training, team building and team conflict resolution.
“Put people together in a way that will have them bouncing ideas off each other, befriending each other, and taking care of each other, and suddenly they are coming to you, not with gripes and problems, but with solutions and great ideas.”
- Richard Branson, in his book, Business Stripped Bare
The focus of this enjoyable, inclusive, participative, non-threatening and effective team unity building© programme is to develop professionalism, trust, motivation, understanding, communication, relationships, unity, accountability and respect within your client’s team.
From challenges - to unified and professional teams
This is not a talk, a negotiation – or a traditional team building - this fun and exciting programme is an interactive, transformational and sustainable experience with wonderful lessons learnt and skills developed!
The Celebrating Humanity Mini Harvest© programme has 3 separate stages, with support and follow-up, to ensure long term success.
Team Conflict Resolution Process
Stage 1 - Initial 2 day programme.
EYE Opener Day 1
Designed to Celebrate the Humanity within your team and develop skills in an Exhilarating Learning© environment and thereby:
Create an environment of respect in the team.
Develop an understanding of communication styles and personalities and how to communicate with respect and effectiveness.
Develop an understanding of team members.
Develop interpersonal communication and respect
Create an environment of communication, solution-finding and praise.
Develop understanding of attitudes and their effect on relationships
Bring the team closer together as colleagues.
Values Circle - Day 2
Develops understanding of how the team should and should not behave and puts the team in charge of its own actions and behaviours.
1.The team creates and commits to a formalised peer-managed Code of Conduct, thereafter all team members clear past interpersonal challenges and commit to the team, and to manage their own actions.
The code of conduct ensures that all team members are committed to work together in a respectful way and commits the team to very brief monthly meetings to:
a.Praise and Honour those who deserve it.
b.Develop understanding
c.Give guidance to values breakers
d.Offer support to those with challenges and send those who will not be guided by the team and who break the agreed rules, for the normal company discipline processes.
Monthly meetings and follow-up +- 1 month after the initial programme.
Sets up the team to maintain the programme, through 1 hour 6 weekly meetings. The first meeting, 2 - 4 hours, is facilitated by a CHI lead facilitator, on site.
The team will receive:-
1.A fully explanatory copy of the Code of Conduct.
2.A copy of their signed commitment to the team.
3.An agenda for the management of the ongoing monthly meetings.
4.Photographs on CD or DVD.
5.Free access to telephonic or e-mail support.
Exhilarating Learning Methodologies
Exhilarating Learning© is non-threatening, effective, fun, lasting and unifying.
Exhilarating Learning© activates all of the human learning senses through group & team-focussed processes and exercises.
Learning is ensured through Inclusivity and the use of Intellectual, Visual, Audio & Kinesthetic sensors.
Inclusivity and Teamwork is ensured through Team reliance on each individuals’ Unique Talents, Skills and Knowledge.
Knowledge and Understanding is developed though the Inclusivity processes.
Teamwork is developed through Group Achievement and the need for Total Participation of all delegates.
Mutual Respect is ensured through the Competition Points System.
Communication Awareness and Skills are developed practically.
Open Minds and Total Participation are ensured through the unique environment and processes.
Long-term Understanding is developed through introspection and the questioning environment.
Tools include the use of various languages, story-telling, music, video & competition.
Testimonials
"On behalf of Team US, from the U.S. Consulate General in Durban, I write to extend our appreciation for and unparalleled experience in cultural sensitisation and team-building!
The 2 day session made our diverse team stronger and more supportive of one another. This (team building) was by far the most meaningful and effective in fostering good communication, mutual respect and a strong spirit of co operation amongst our multi-cultural staff. "
Jill Derderian - United States Consul General - Durban
"There were times when attitudes were so hard and fast that I thought it would be an impossible task to create teams within groups of people that we were working with but Brian and Arthie with incredible insight and genuine humanity were able to find the chink in the armour and break down barriers that had been built and protected for decades.
From those tenuous and fragile beginnings, many teams soared to great heights achieving outstanding results. I am forever indebted to their excellent work.”
- Sue Hall & Associates
Celebrating Humanity International
Diversity Management, Team Building and Team Conflict Resolution Specialists
079 643 4457/ 072 439 4220/ brian@africa-dreams.com
http://www.africa-dreams.com
http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
http://transformdiverseteams.blogspot.com
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Arthie and Brian Moore - Profile
Both Arthie and Brian have many years of Africa and international experience in developing communication and respect within diverse teams, removing conflict within teams, diversity management training and transformational team building.
They love to learn about people, their cultures, traditions and religions and are able to greet in over 80 languages! They are widely travelled and live the lives that they talk about.
Their clients include government, multi-nationals and corporates in South Africa, Namibia, UK, China and USA.
They have positively impacted the lives 1000’s of people through their diversity/ team building programmes.
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| Arthie Moore |
Arthie Moore – General Manager – Celebrating Humanity International
Unique in her way and manner, in bringing about and project managing positive change, International facilitator, writer and project manager Arthie Moore is a multi-faceted gem.
With over a decade in building leadership, respect and accountability within teams and companies she is well known, liked and respected as a powerful and intuitive leader.
Arthie is one of the Inspirational Women at Work- in the book by that name and has been recognized, for developing leadership amongst women, by Former 1st Lady of Mozambique Mrs Graca Machel-Mandela.
She is currently writing a book on how to build great relationships and is the co-author of the Celebrating Humanity series of diversity, team building and teamconflict resolution programmes.
Brian V Moore - Managing Director – Celebrating HumanityInternational
Another rare human being indeed, author, speaker, facilitator and change agent - Brian V Moore has a unique ability to engage, involve and unite people from any background. His skills in switching language, greetings and body language swiftly build relationships across diversity.Known as the Peacemaker on the Dusi Canoe Marathon - for his work in bringing peace - between canoeists and rural communities, during the 1990s. He was recognized by Archbishop Desmond Tutu with a Sanlam – Sunday Tribune Community Builder Award.
He has assisted communities to build classrooms and clinics as the Chairperson of the KZN Canoe Union Valley Assistance Fund. Brian was awarded Provincial Colours for this work.
Brian speaks English, isiZulu, Afrikaans fluently and gets by in the various Nguni languages.
With over 25 years of experience in his field, Brian has spoken at numerous functions around South Africa, Namibia, UK, China and USA.
- He chaired the 2009 Learning World Conference, in Hong Kong, and presented on Transformational Team Building methodologies.
- Presented, and a sponsor of, the London Diversity Conference - in 2008.
- Presented to Post Graduates at Quinniapac University, Connecticut - USA.
- Author of Team Conflict Resolution Strategies.
- Co-author of Celebrating Humanity programmes.
Websites:
http://www.africa-dreams.com
http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
Blogs:
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Diversity - the culture, religion and colour dance.
When people talk of diversity - a few delighted horticulturists begin to think happily of a wide variety of biological species.
Most people begin to think of people differences. Some will become almost hysterical, screaming, "Brainwashing!" Others will take up their banners and flags and begin a verbal war dance. They will fight "their" cause and dance with power, anger and rightness. And sadly most of them will be stuck in culture, religion and colour.
Most people begin to think of people differences. Some will become almost hysterical, screaming, "Brainwashing!" Others will take up their banners and flags and begin a verbal war dance. They will fight "their" cause and dance with power, anger and rightness. And sadly most of them will be stuck in culture, religion and colour.
Throughout history mankind has chosen to define everything, so that they can group and "understand." So we have words to define white and black people. And when they happen to mix words such as mulattos, quadroons and octaroons were created.
Followers of the religions were divided into religion, race and sect.
And still the dividers tried to define and they threw in all the other possibilities into their people definitions and then proceeded to categorize these "groups" and their "behaviours." Just so that we could understand "them."
This incredible focus on race, colour and religious categorization is unnecessary and instead of bringing understanding - serves to separate people before they have a chance to learn from each other.
When we move into a state of openness and understand that there is only one race - the human race, we will then begin to respect at the level of the human being. This is the emotional intelligence stage that will bring an end to war and separateness. Or to borrow and modify a term from South Africa's history - Apart Hate will end.
Diversity has much more to it, individual uniqueness, personalities, communication and learning styles, talents, abilities, education, age, gender, health, wealth, spirituality, history, country, employment, skills, upbringing etc. Add to those the wonders of our cultures, traditions, beliefs and experience and we have much to teach each other and to celebrate!
Let's stop our vision impeding focus on Diversity through the culture, religion and colour dance. And begin the learning from the Human Wikipedia that surrounds us every day.
Brian V Moore
3 5 2011
brian@africa-dreams.com
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
I am a lucky man!
I am a very lucky man!
After a brief time she asked me for some time on Valentine’s day - her birthday. I was hoping to take her on a helicopter, a yacht and a train ride on the day. I knew Arthie did not particularly like being up early - so I jokingly said, “Ok. How about 2 hours, between 7 am and 9 am. On the 13th we both participated in a fire walk, once more proving the resilience of our relationship.
That evening Arthie sent me to the local pub, for a business meeting. Lo and behold, all of my friends were there and I began to put 2 and 2 together! It was my stag party! I felt a an amazing rush of excitement - I was getting married the next day!
We arrived early the next morning, at the beautiful Botanic Gardens. I was guided down to the tranquil bird-filled, tree-lined lake to await my beautiful bride. About 30 members of the family and our friends had gathered to witness our wedding. Arthie had arranged for the ceremony to be officiated by a marriage officer. He in turn had gathered as many hymn books as possible and handed them out to our pre-dominantly Hindi guests.
My heart skipped a beat as my beautifully smiling bride appeared, flanked by her family. She glided stunningly towards me in her beautiful white wedding gown. Her image was reflected on the walkway in the pools of rainwater, as she stepped into my life and into my spirit.
The ceremony was incredible and many scenes stand out for me. My mother sang “The best things in life are free.” The marriage officer, as a lay pastor, decided to carry out a full Christian ceremony. He even had our Hindu families and friends singing Christian hymns! I later found out that he was unsure that I would agree to this “surprise” wedding!
I remember the beautiful birds gliding across the lake and a tiny one-legged bird scrounging for insects as we took our vows. In terms of South African law we had to sign the registration forms under a roof and we all squeezed tightly into a tiny office at the garden’s restaurant to do so.
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| 4 yr old Lliam & Dad in London |
And on top of all this she is a great daughter and daughter-in-law, a marvellous business person, an excellent sister and friend, a teacher and a listener, a shining star and a forward-focused wunderkind who lives in the now, whilst building her legacy for the future!
One of the greatest leadership lessons that I have learnt from Arthie is that of standing back. I am a very strong person and often I take over when something needs to be done. My way gets results but no-one learns from it. Arthie takes a different tack, she shares some wisdom and leaves others to do complete the task. In this way the work gets done and someone else grows. A prime example is our son Lliam.
When he first began to totter around our home, I went onto Daddy standby. The moment he stumbled, I would rush to catch him. My cool and calm guide said, “ He learns by falling. Let him fall.” I struggled against my protecting nature. And now Lliam falls, dusts himself off and carries on at full tilt into his next adventure. When he really hurts himself Arthie is always there for him, but she knows the difference between falling and hurting.
When Lliam picked up a sharp knife, I nearly had a heart attack and Arthie showed him how to use it. When he made a mess, Arthie bought him a small broom and a mop. “I am not going to raise a man so that I have to clean up after him.” He is now 2 years and 8 months old and is an accomplished sweeper and mopper and even makes his own peanut butter sandwiches!
Making sandwiches at his age may sound like a great achievement but that is not the half of it. The peanut butter and syrup are on a shelf more than two metres above the ground. The butter is high up in the fridge. Lliam pushes a bar stool to the high places, takes what he needs and makes a perfect sandwich! To top it all he returns each item to it’s rightful place!
And two weeks ago he suddenly began washing the dishes. He kneels on his bar stool at the sink and washes away quite merrily. He then stacks the clean items in the correct places. This all started by being allowed to experience life without being affected by a bigger person taking over the task or by the unreasonable fears of a parent. “Get down! You will hurt yourself.” or, “Don’t touch that knife! You will cut yourself.”
Standing back takes a lot of courage and selflessness. It is often selfish to take over when helping people and it takes bravery to allow a child to walk down stairs for the first time! Arthie has taught me that managers create controlled and limited results and that leaders create leaders who create brilliant results.
Our little boy is fast becoming a leader who comfortably speaks English and Zulu and greets in 12 languages.
Our little boy is fast becoming a leader who comfortably speaks English and Zulu and greets in 12 languages.
Lliam climbed into his gran’s car recently, released the brake, took it out of gear and “drove” it down our gently inclined driveway until it came to a stop. Arthie and I arrived at the car at the same time. Arthie gently asked, “What are you doing Lliam?” Our little boy firmly stated, “I drive my car!” And we smiled and kept quiet.
Later he told, all who would listen, how he had parked “his” car. Indeed he had! He then asked for the car keys so that he could reverse the car back to where it came from. We didn’t give him the keys. Sometimes a leader understands when his student is just too short to reach the pedals or to see over the dashboard!
Lliam is also offered choices. If he is doing something that we are not comfortable with he is offered a choice of other activities. Instead of wresting a knife out of his hand he may be offered a ride on his pushbike, or a paintbrush and paper. No attention is drawn to the knife, which he hands over without fuss, as Arthie draws attention to a fun and safe activity.
I was raised with a strong focus on what I did wrong. Arthie always focusses our son on good activities and praises him on what he does well. Within 1 week of moving out of the diaper stage, Lliam was getting out of bed saying, “Look mommy, I am dry! Yeah! Yeahhhh!” Within a few weeks he is a “dry” baby, who notifies us when he needs the toilet. Arthie’s praise had created pride and she was rewarded with good behaviour - another great lesson for leaders.
I was raised with a strong focus on what I did wrong. Arthie always focusses our son on good activities and praises him on what he does well. Within 1 week of moving out of the diaper stage, Lliam was getting out of bed saying, “Look mommy, I am dry! Yeah! Yeahhhh!” Within a few weeks he is a “dry” baby, who notifies us when he needs the toilet. Arthie’s praise had created pride and she was rewarded with good behaviour - another great lesson for leaders.
Yes! I am a lucky man. Not only has Arthie helped our child to grow, she does that for everyone, including myself. She has taught me that I can “unite or be right.” A great lesson for those of us who have “all the answers”, or who try to manage every situation. Often when we over control, we lose control and break relationships. She has taught me that very few situations require my input. That I have greater value by allowing people to be and to do.
She is a great speaker and a guiding light in our transformational team-building business, where our focus is on uniting diverse people through their uniquenesses and their actions. She always intuitively knows when to move on to a new process. And if the group needs something special or something different, she knows and makes the change in pace and direction. Arthie is in tune with herself and with people and has saved many failing relationships, with her ability to listen and gently help people move from being victims to becoming leaders.
She has taught me the value of giving and the sheer freedom in personal forgiveness. She has taught me that humanness far out-weighs “winning”. She has taught me about the power of “us” and the value of family. She has taught me that the world rewards action and not thought.
And she is so incredibly beautiful in every possible way! Yes! I am indeed a very lucky man!
Brian V Moore©
Durban - South Africa. 3 November 2003
Update
I am still a lucky man
Sitting here this morning in September 2006 and reflecting upon where we were, when I wrote the first part of our story makes me smile.
Our little business was struggling, we owed hundreds of thousands - to banks and suppliers.
In reality we were in deep trouble, financially and our fledgling business was on it knees. The luckiest man in the world was days away from losing his home. And yet I had never felt so lucky! Days after sending out the Lucky Man newsletter, work came pouring in.
Within 8 months we had cleared our debt. Our business took its first leaps into surrounding countries. We spent time at the beautiful Lake Kariba, - bordering Zambia and Zimbabwe.
And now we are firmly a strongly and international company. Our program - Celebrating Humanity© - changes lives and the world in wonderful and positive ways. Our life’s work will take us to Namibia, Tanzania, Ghana and Mocambique in the near future. And hopefully - the USA and the UK.
But more importantly - Arthie is still a wonderful loving wife and mother, a wonderful friend and an incredible agent for universal transformation.
Lliam is now a wonderful big brother!
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| 2 yr old Kailash, in Namibia |
We are now 4. And I am still the luckiest and happiest man in the world. What a wonderful journey life can be, if we simply choose to focus on our happiness.
Brian Moore - September 2006.
Update
Update
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| Kailash, Myself, Lliam & Arthie On our smallholding - 2010 |
Young, bright and fun Kailash, is now almost 5 years old and has started school. He bakes with me and cooks with his mother and he is an absolute delight!
Lliam has moved from home school to a public school. He is excelling and is showing his genius at every turn. He too is brilliant in the kitchen and technically. And has upgraded to a vacuum cleaner!
Arthie and I have been married to each other 7 different ways now! Including a Hindu weddng, a Shamanic wedding in the Drakensburg mountains, a Scottish wedding in Gretna Green – in Scotland, a Las Vegas wedding and we retook our vows in a hot air balloon over the Magaliesberg mountains of South Africa.
Our journey has taken us to Namibia, USA, UK, Europe, Zambia and Hong Kong where we have delivered talks, presentations, team building, team conflict resolution and diversity training. Without the wonderful impact of Arthie on my life none of this would have been possible.
I will always be lucky and always be in awe of her incredible care, brilliance, humanness and laughter.
April 2011
Brian MooreThe luckiest man in the World!
Durban - South Africa.
Durban - South Africa.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Can a white guy talk with authority on diversity?
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| Zulu Chief Bhengu, and I. |
Brian V Moore • Human diversity includes people like myself.
I am what you would call white, a member of an African tribe, descendant of Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English and South African forebears, born in Zambia to a Roman Catholic family, resident in South Africa, my wife is a Hindu South African of Indian descent, I speak a number of African languages, Afrikaans and English, greet in over 100 languages, have worked in the USA, UK, Hong Kong and in numerous parts of Africa.
My diversity experience comes from living amongst and experiencing people, traditions, cultures, religions and I have worked as a peacemaker in rural African communities.
There are two issues here:-
1) How dare I not share my growth and lessons with others who have not had my experiences.
2) How strange it is that we, as diversity specialists, can judge people by colour. A Zulu (African tribe in South Africa) say clearly in this proverb. "Uhlubu’ dlube ‘khasini" Literally - "A bean is revealed when you open the shell."
We cannot know a person by their external appearance. We can only learn about them through either our own experiences of them - or that of others whom they have impacted.
Of course any focused and experienced person can speak with authority on diversity. My wife and I have touched 10s of thousands of lives through our work.
Let the catalysts of change do their work without judgement!
I am what you would call white, a member of an African tribe, descendant of Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English and South African forebears, born in Zambia to a Roman Catholic family, resident in South Africa, my wife is a Hindu South African of Indian descent, I speak a number of African languages, Afrikaans and English, greet in over 100 languages, have worked in the USA, UK, Hong Kong and in numerous parts of Africa.
My diversity experience comes from living amongst and experiencing people, traditions, cultures, religions and I have worked as a peacemaker in rural African communities.
There are two issues here:-
1) How dare I not share my growth and lessons with others who have not had my experiences.
2) How strange it is that we, as diversity specialists, can judge people by colour. A Zulu (African tribe in South Africa) say clearly in this proverb. "Uhlubu’ dlube ‘khasini" Literally - "A bean is revealed when you open the shell."
We cannot know a person by their external appearance. We can only learn about them through either our own experiences of them - or that of others whom they have impacted.
Of course any focused and experienced person can speak with authority on diversity. My wife and I have touched 10s of thousands of lives through our work.
Let the catalysts of change do their work without judgement!
Best wishes
Brian V Moore
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